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5 Phases Of An Oilfield Wife

5 Phases Of An Oilfield Wife



coupleoncouchSome days you just get over it. You get over him not coming home for two months, You get over juggling the work of two while he is away. You just become done. I don’t think I am the only oilfield wife who feels this way either.

That’s phase 4 in the 5 phase cycle that at least I go through when he leaves.

Phase 1: “I got this” when I am in this phase I am rekindled, ready to take on the world again. I can start to accomplish everything I had been putting off and get back to my routine once he leaves.

Phase 2: “back to normal” I get off my soap box and my overly motivated kick and I just go back to my normal life, as being two people at once..


Phase 3: “You stop caring” you go about you life as if it is normal, you have your set times you can talk to him and that’s just how it is. He almost feels imaginary. You know that in two weeks if he comes home you need to take his stuff to the dry cleaners, and maybe go buy extra food. Other then that life is normal.

Phase 4: “over it” you want him home now. The patience is gone. The sweet loving I understands have run out. You don’t understand the extensive time spent there any longer. The extra hitches don’t matter anymore.

Lastly phase 5: “remembering why you do it.” He comes home and you get to hug him. You get to spend actually time together that’s not on the phone or face timing. You get to be with him while you sit comfortable in your beautiful house that he helped provide. You realize how hard he has been working and that he just needs a break from a 60 day hitch, not only that. You remember it’s worth it.

We all have hard working oilfield spouses who we love and want the best for. It may be hard on us and we may get to the point of done. Once you hit that point, remember this is the life style you choose, and you can do it. Because you done it a millions time before. Because you are the backbone to the Industry, and in all reality your love just becomes strong because you become stronger.

a newly married oilfield wife.



  1. Hi New “Oilfield Wife”,
    Welcome to the Club! I’ve been a member of this life for 17 years. Wish I could tell you it gets easier but…….
    Your right though, it will make you and the both of you as a couple Stronger.
    Loved reading your Phases. They are pretty close to “My phases”! ?
    Good Read. Thank You.

  2. One of my phases is “just let me sleep til it’s over.” In that time I catch up on all those naps I missed out on as a child. Lol

    1. There’s a stage before six….I call it “re-entry” – when he comes home and most routine goes out the window while he has 3 days of re-entry back to real life. It’s taken YEARS to be ok with that 72 hours of re-adjustment.
      Then I get to hug him and enjoy it. lol.

  3. Yes on stage 6. Lol I get so use to him not being home and if he’s home more than usual he starts to get on my nerves. But I love him so!!?

  4. I was away from my husband for four years before I came to work with him. Saw each other about three weeks a year. It was always great and exciting when he came home, but after a week, it was like I was ready to get back to MY routine. It is extreme difficult to go through all the five and live the “single” but married life, and once you do it for so long, it’s like having to start fresh each time he did come home. I was used to doing things my way again and kept a schedule and after a week or so, was ready to get back to it as it seemed easier. But I love my husband and felt so guilty. So happy we are with him now. It is so much easier.

  5. i agree on Stage 6 – it’s great when he’s home & you finally get to spend QT together, but then when he starts interrupting or wanting to change my routine with kids & home life, I say “is it almost time for you to go back?” Lol I love him so, but funny how we get into our mode of running the household & don’t want them to change it. Love your phases – pretty dead on. Blessings to all – especially our roughnecks when their gone & traveling.


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